I really want to see a WWE-style moment at the RNC where Mitt’s about to speak, the lights go out, and someone else’s theme song plays…

— Paul Gude (Rascal) (@sgnp) August 24, 2012

…Mitt’s furious, mouth agape. This was HIS moment. But, no! A challenger has emerged on a stage he thought was safe. The crowd goes nuts!

— Paul Gude (Rascal) (@sgnp) August 24, 2012

“You thought you had this in the bag!” the challenger bellows. “But you can’t buy America. You gotta BUY AMERICAN!” The crowd goes wild.

— Paul Gude (Rascal) (@sgnp) August 24, 2012

Mitt Romney is gesticulating wildly. His moment is ruined! Somebody get this guy off the stage! The Republican challenger opens a briefcase.

— Paul Gude (Rascal) (@sgnp) August 24, 2012

THE TAX RETURNS! “Somebody shoot this guy!” Mitt sputters. His mic is on. “SHOOT HIM!” From the ceiling, not balloons tax return copies.

— Paul Gude (Rascal) (@sgnp) August 24, 2012

Paul Ryan rips off his shirt, but one glare from the Republican challenger and his abs turn flaccid. Tax returns fall everywhere like snow.

— Paul Gude (Rascal) (@sgnp) August 24, 2012

“Fool!” screams Romney. “No son of man can best me!” “Know this be true,” whispers the stranger, “My father was a corporation.” HAYMAKER!

— Paul Gude (Rascal) (@sgnp) August 24, 2012

Or, you know. It’ll just be boring and Donald Trump will do something dumb. Your choice, RNC.

— Paul Gude (Rascal) (@sgnp) August 24, 2012

Serious. Follow Paul Gude (Rascal) now if you aren’t already.